Glasgow Garage

December 6 2000

Don't look at me like that. It's ok, I've not taken complete leave of my senses, though this was another of those "really great ideas of our time". Yeah right. So, I'm in Edinburgh for a week, which just so happens to coincide with some actual decent gigs that I was even thinking of going to (yep, Mr lazy kicks himself up the arse). And I'm in bleeding Edinburgh. No offence meant to Edinburghians, but like, I've waited a while to see the 'tone play a gig, opening for a prestigious band and therefore hopefully playing in front of a whole bunch of potential new listeners, and gasp, maybe even new fans. It should've been Nottingham, but fate conspired, and by all accounts anyway, Nottingham once more managed to shower itself in shit. So great ideas of our time. When in Rome. Go to Glasgow. Other great ideas of our time include going to Edinburgh and not taking a coat, in December, just a Dead Kennedys hoodie and some t-shirts. I really must remember to bunch any good ideas of our time squarely in the face the next time they knock on the door.

So it's a quick walk the length of Edinburgh (or that's how it felt) to get the train. Armed as I was with a print out from the good old net, the reliable net, which told me where the Garage was. And so I walked there, only two minutes really from the train station, only to find that there's nothing like a venue where it should be. And it's started to rain. Oh good. I ask some people and they explain where the place is, and that it's only a 10 minute walk. Yeah, 10 minutes if you know what the fuck your doing, and beside, the 'tone probably started about 5 minutes ok. 10 more minutes and they'll be finished. So it's a taxi trip, with the geezer behind the wheel talking about Max Boyce - sometimes it's bad to be Welsh.

But hey, I got there and you've waited all this bleeding time for the review, and it's only for 3 songs. Approx purified, the magnificent p.r.d chaos (which really is one of the finest songs the band have written to date), in which Karl manages to erase the memory of Ish's vocals on the studio version, the man really does appear to be coming more and more into his own (and he looks strangely different tonight, younger) and Evil Crawling I, dedicated to that woman who does the Radio 1 rock show.

Even if it is only the probably front half dozen to a dozen rows that really go off, the place is packed and the ones that do go off, well, do go off. I hear a few murmurs at the end of people who've never heard of them before (WHAT! Wake up, smell the coffee, sniff the coke, read the magazines instead of just looking at the pictures. The venue seems cool as well, gotta love that truck sticking out the wall at the front, class, I want one of them, and I don't know, there's almost a palpable difference between the setup and crowd here and that in Nottingham. ((And I don't know if palpable is the right word there, just sounds good doesn't it, sometimes you have to go with the eye nose and throat candy,)) I really don't get Nottingham at the moment, but don't get me started on that, cos I'll go on and on, not that I don't anyway, and it'll get me in trouble and I just don't understand things, by that I mean I really just don't understand how some people operate or think, I don't get the mentality. I like Nottingham, it's a cool place and there are people who really try, but the levels of disinterest are immense. There was a guy here tonight who put the Haunted on recently here in Glasgow. He got 250 punters, Nottingham got about 90. Go figure why I get hacked off about the lack of interest the in the place. Yet the arena will be packed tomorrow, 10000 people, to see Green Day (I'm writing this on the train on the way back, Friday night. Half 10. I've been traveling since 3 this afternoon. I should've been in Nottingham 2 hours ago. I've got about 3/4 hour left. The UK rail service, how can I put this, you suck, your crap and the guard just walked behind me, and I'm utterly pissed off at the moment. Oh yeah, and I've got such a shitty pain in the arse, nose and throat cold you wouldn't believe. Well it's not actually in the arse, but I'm pissed off, tired and irritable, my nose is running, my eyes are hurting and I keep on sneezing.

I saw a couple of songs from Glassjaw. Predictably enough the crowd went beserk for them, but though not bad, they really don't do much for me, not tonight, cos they ain't a patch on e9 (and arc'tan'gent is still amazing. I'm still listening to it, and I discovered that Slayer's South of Heaven riff is actually in one of the songs, though slowed down a bit. Yellow Fever, it's there I tell you). I didn't see any of Soulfly, which doesn't particularly bother me as I think Soulfly and the whole Max thing has become boring (godfather of nu-metal, give me a break), and I've got to get a taxi, train, taxi back to the hotel in Edinburgh.

And this has to be the longest review for the shortest gig I've ever done. Well I'm impressed, and if you ain't, well who gives a fuck anyway?