It's always a treat and indeed, an honour, to receive love letters about what you do. You know, that undying devotion to you and all that sort of thing. And so I thought I'd share this lurrrrve with you. So here, for your pleasure are a few of the lurrrrve letters this site has generated. Newest first if you please.
Well, I just got back from working in Finland for a few days and I'd received a message. It dares me to print it. No problem.
Subject: BEWARE OF GIRL
Well hello Dave,
Now I would like to bet that you are not expecting this e mail as you are probably sitting alone in your bedroom jacking off to your favorite cover song...'TAINTED LOVE".My name is Tairrie and I sing in a band called "MY RUIN".I think you may have heard of us as well as my former band "TURA SATANA".Today I had my publicist send me a copy of a review that you did of a gig we played at DUDLEY JB'S.Maybe most people don't bother writing to lame ass journalists who take it upon themselves to write bullshit reviews of shows but as you must have heard I am NOT most people.First of all I would like to thank you for attending our show.I'm sure it was probably a nice break from hanging out at the nearest pub and getting shitfaced with your little friends for a night.I want to comment on a few things you said about our show and about me if that is okay with you sweetie.First off...obviously I would hope that former TURA and MANHOLE fans would come and check out my new project...after all I was the founder and frontwoman of these past bands.To say that I am using it to assist me is damn skippy motherfucker!(i'm sorry,is that another so called AMERICANISM that you aren't down with?)I put my heart and soul as well as a few long years into my past band and you better believe that I am going to take FULL advantage of what I worked so fuckin hard to make happen!!!!You are right,a UK band with one album and only a few weeks old wouldn't get the same press or turnout(NEITHER WOULD AN AMERICAN BAND FOR THAT MATTER)however i have been doing this for a while now and like well ummm lets see...how about MAX CAVALERA for instance?I realize in your eyes I am probably NO WHERE NEAR as talented as him however i can scream pretty good for a GIRL (so i've been told)and when he left SEPULTURA and formed SOULFLY i'm sure part of the fact that kids and the press were interested in him was because of his PAST BAND you ASSHOLE!!!!!As for the "SPECTACLE"I would like to assure you that i don't preplan or CONTRIVE so called dramas for the fuck of it.My name is Taiirie not Courtney.As for stage divers I have ALWAYS welcomed them on my stage infact I promote it.The problem begins when they don't jump and dive but instead start to try and have a conversation with me during a song,grab my tits,ass or well, as you like to call it MY CUNT,step all over the band gear,NOT LEAVE THE STAGE and so on and so forth.I respect those who respect me back...GET IT FELLA????A pat on the head is STRAIGHT UP DISRESPECTFUL because i am NOT a dog!No,I do not like to be touched and that's the deal with that.I'm sorry if that offends YOU.It's like this baby.....holding a mic and singing a song is not giving permission for someone to put his or HER hands on my person.When and if I feel comfortable I do go into the crowd because I love to have kids sing with me and it feels amazing.I do like to connect with my audience as well but not on certain levels...like when it becomes a problem ON THE STAGE!I also I NEVER stage dive myself because that would be another problem...I have and I know what happens.Occasionally colliding with a guitarist 10 times in one song does become a bit lame and distracting during a show.We as musicians would like to atleast TRY to put on the BEST possible performance we can.If our equipment gets fucked up then the show is OVER and that ruins it for everyone....INCLUDING THE BAND!!!!As for the encore on this particular evening....we decieded to play a CRASS song because we felt it to be appropriate as to what we were saying in our OWN songs.My problem is that every show we do some fuckin loud mouth drunk guy with no dick or balls to speak of has to yell something shitty and try to get a reaction from me....sometimes he will and this night HE DID!When we walked out he was yelling that we were ripping off CRASS and that I was doing CRASS lyrics and that we sucked for stealing CRASS lyrics and on and on with more BULLSHIT....So I tryed to explain to this idiot that we weren't RIPPING ANYONE OFF...we were plaiyng CRASS for fucks sake and then he continued to talk shit so I did get a little pissed and reacted without thinkingI do have a horrible temper however when some jerk off wants to come to my show and fuck with me he better come prepared.As for the "DUDLEY IN THE HOUSE"comment...I have NEVER said that and would NEVER say it.I have this show on video and did not hear myself say that maybe you got me mixed up with that white boy rapper named FRED DURST and his lovely band LIMP BIZKIT.I however DO NOT use such phrases!!!I am glad you enjoyed atleast ONE song during our little rock show ....STOOPID is a favorite of mine as well.The song PAUL ISOLA graced me with his vocals on was called 'SICK WITH IT" not "SICK OF IT"..just a little info for MR CONCERT REVIEW MAN!!!!You are a dick in my opinion and to be honest I really DON'T give a fuck what YOUR opinion is...I do however love to state my own...especially when I have had a few cocktails and it is late at night here in LA....I guess today is your lucky day darlin.I hope you come and see us againwhen we return early next year.Please bring a pen and paper and maybe a tape recorder so you can review the show PROPERLY and that way you won't look like suck a total ARSE....oh sorry,that wasn't one of my cheesy so called AMERICANISMS was it?Well fuck it and FUCK YOU!!!
MISS B is going to bed now
PS please feel free to print MY review of YOU on your webpage I WOULDN'T MIND AT ALL ...infact I DARE YOU!Also, please check out my website and feel free to write mean things to me on my message board...i'm sure you will anyway.It's a shame that you aren't a very nice person but maybe you are just young and need grow up......or maybe you just love KROKUS!!!!!.....www.myruin.com
So, I'm not going to argue here. I'm prepared to discuss what I said in a reasonable rationale way, otherwise there's little point. But a few little pointers and facts:
Obviously that provoked a repsonse.
My New Pal Dave,
You are very welcome darling!I'm oh so happy that you opted not to be a pussy and instead chose to put my fan letter to you on your site.I guess you DO have atleast one ball left.
>Thanks for the review. As requested I've put it on the web site at: >www.crg.cs.nott.ac.uk/~dxl/reviews/love-letters.html
I really would NOT consider what I wrote to be arguing...it was more like telling you the truth as I saw it to be.The fact that you interpreted my actions and what went on to suit your twisted little own self gratification is your own problem but when you make blatent untrue statements about me then it becomes mine.
>So, I'm not going to argue here. I'm prepared to discuss what I said in a reasonable rationale way, otherwise there's little point.
SO WHERE ARE YOU EXACTLY DISCUSSING ANYTHING THAT I WROTE YOU IN THIS LETTER BACK TO ME???I REALIZE YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR HEARING AND EYESIGHT...HOWEVER I DO NOT!!!!
>But a few little pointers and facts:
Oh,I guess this is suppossed to be it....
>1) I am NOT a journalist. I don't get paid to write reviews.
THANK GOD FOR THAT!I guess you shouldn't be writing reviews if you DON'T consider yourself a journalist because frankly I don't consider you one either.
>I paid for petrol to do a 100 mile trip to and from that gig, and paid for my ticket.
I'M SORRY YOU FOUND IT SUCH A WASTE OF YOUR HARD EARNED MONEYBABY...MAYBE NEXT TIME YOU SHOULD JUST GO SEE COAL CHAMBER OR SOME OTHER MORE AUTHENTIC BAND OF HIGHLY TALENTED MUSICIANS.
>I've seen Tura Satana on a number of>occassions, and I've seen 80 gigs so far this year. I'm entitled to my opinion. Anyone is. Anyone who sees a gig is entitled to write their opinion on it.
YES YOU ARE INTITLED TO YOUR OPINION BUT IF YOU WRITE LIES AND BULLSHIT THEN I AM INTITLED TO GIVE YOU MY OPINION.80 GIGS SO FAR THIS YEAR HUH?MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY TO LEARN TO PLAY AN INSTRUMENT OR SING OR SOMETHING AND THAT WAY YOU CAN SEE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO ACTUALLY WORK REAL FUCKIN HARD TO PUT A BAND TOGETHER AND SPILL YOUR GUTS EVERYNIGHT,BRUISE AND BLEED FOR WHAT YOU DO JUST TO HAVE SOME ASSHOLE TRY TO RIP WHAT YOU DO APART AND JUDGE IT AS HE ATTEMPTS TO BECOME A SHITTY JOURNALIST!
>If I was a journalist I may have received a review copy of the album, in which case I could've checked a song title heard in the noise of a gig to make sure I wasn't a word out. But I have no copy of the album to check against.
OH,I'M SORRY I FORGOT ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE NOT AFUCKINGJOURNALIST!!!!!!
>2) For what I actually have said about Soulfly, you can click here for the album review,
FOR NOT BEING A JOURNALIST YOU SEEM TO HAVE A LOT OF REVIEWS DON'T YOU??? I DON'T CARE ABOUT SOULFLY OR WHAT YOU SAID..I WAS MAKING A POINT(or was that too hard to understand as well?)
>www.crg.cs.nott.ac.uk/~dxl/reviews/NARS/Vol6/soul-alb.html and here for the gig review. www.crg.cs.nott.ac.uk/~dxl/reviews/NARS/Vol6/soul-gig.html
>3) On the Subject of stage divers, I've said loads about them, but there is a gig review here which gives an indicator of what I think.
HOW ABOUT WHAT I THINK...I DON'T FUCKING GIVE A SHIT!!!! >www.crg.cs.nott.ac.uk/~dxl/reviews/NARS/Vol10/oms.html
>4) Regarding Fred Durst, you can click here to read an interview I did with Tura Satana at which Tarrie was present and the subject of Fred Durst was raised.
YEAH SO WHAT DOES THIS HAVE TO DO WITH JACK SHIT????oh it's pretty funny how much of an asskisser you seemed to act like when you were doing an INTERVIEW as a NON JOURNALIST back then with us as TURA SATANA!!
>5) I did not, and would not use the word cunt. I simply don't like that word.
WELL I HOWEVER DO AND YOU ARE ONE!!!!ccccccccunt!!
with fists and scars and NO ROCKSTARS!!! miss b
And that's it. There seems little point in carrying on with this if it's to see how loud someone can shout. I'm tired and I've got better things to do with my time. Tarrie has me sussed and obviously completely out thought me on all arguments.. I will now crawl under a rock and reflect on what a horrid little man I am and how little worth my life has. I will cease from ever holding an opinion of my own again. Or something.
Subject: nob head
hello dickus erecticus get alife you sad nob
Subject: PoOr MuSiC ReViEwS.......
do you have a clue what you are talking about, or, as is suggested by your ridiculous statements you are queer. What you say is both far too introspective and acutley full of baffoonary and shmishum that I and my chums at the llama processing plant have declared you a grade A jiz monkey!!
And no mistake!!
Subject: Hello from sunny Croydon
Hi there, my name's Stu and i play in band-Grand Central, on Sunday the 25th April we played a gig at Upstairs from the Garage bands playing on the night we're, Kneejerk, Grand Central, Sunfactor and Spy versus Spy all this for a fiver. I say the best bill of the year, (well, for british bands at least!). It seems you're mag doesn't seem to cover up and coming bands-who deserve the credit and instead you go for the dross that is NYHC and the easy pull of an ABC metal band. I'm all one for getting a fair go and all that, but come on, there are some great bands around at the moment, and it's time that magazines like yours woke up and smelt the coffee and perhaps went to see some of these bands.
Subject: HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT COLD WERE CRAP
I have been a life long dedicated fan of COLD, and HOW DARE YOU SAY THEY WERE CRAP AND THE ALBUM IS AN OK PIECE OF WORK!!!! I saw them at the Wulfrun too, so the sound quality wasn't that good but=20 they were fucking 'enhorabuena' ( look it up ) SO THERE
There are more, but I have to find them in the clutter that is my mail directory.
Mwuh, mwuh, (that's me blowing kisses to you all in a very luvvie kind of way). Thanks for the love, thanks for taking so much time out for me. I really should thankYOU for spending and giving me a part of YOUR life. It it truly an honour.