It’s September 24. YAZ 8 Was finished two days ago. Welcome. Let me take some time to explain, whether you’re interested or not, what this page is usually meant to be about. I guess it’s the “welcome to my ...” page. But it turns into a place where I just put a collection of thoughts that evolve through the process of creating a new zine. So now you know. Which allows me to use it to explain the following.
Towards the end of the last issue, I had my first bout of insecurity and uncertainty in doing a zine. It’s been going a year, and anyone who knows me, or can really pretend to know me, will know that for me to go a year without that, is pretty amazing. But anyway, like I said, it’s started to surface. It’s probably visible in parts of the last issue. And as I start this one, remembering that this page is a collection of thoughts throughout the preparation lifetime of this zine, it’s still there. Well, it’s only a matter of days since I actually finished No 8. This may be the last one. I mean, what right do I have to make any ill informed judgement on anybodies album or demo or gig? I don’t know anything, I just give an opinion. And increasingly I’m finding that those opinions are condescending and high and mighty seeming. They also don’t give any insight into the actual music. And the reviews seem to center round what I’m thinking, which has absolutely no relevence to the music for the most part. But whether I like it or not, it influences what I think of things, and so I think that I should explain that during a review. Even though I don’t want to. But if I just write the review, well, in those instances it’s simply going to say nothing. But it feels partly that this is just turning into an ego massage exercise. Which isn’t what it should be about. I also find myself so often thinking “this reminds me of something or someone, but I can’t put my finger on who”. And that’s not really a way to review something. Once is ok, but after a while, it just becomes lazy and cliched. Neither is a good review a “it’s shit” or “it rocks”. But I don’t know how to describe music, I only know how to describe what I think when I’m listening to something. And I just don’t know that that is valid.
Same with the interviews. I have no real idea if any of the questions I ask are relevent or even interesting for the bands or the people reading this. I know the questions do tend to go for the same angle each time. What makes a good or interesting question? I want to avoid the bog standard where possible. I mean, what’s the point in every zine asking the same questions? That would almost mean that to find out anything, you only have to read one interview with a band in one zine. But, at the same time, I don’t want to be overly intrusive, cos I know I wouldn’t want someone I’ve never met before asking me to explain myself or my innermost thoughts and emotions. So why should any zine or journalist, or fan expect it from a band member? But one of the reasons I started doing this zine in the first place, was that I wanted to read about bands that I liked, and to read something that was a little different to what you read in Kerrang! or Metal Hammer, or the NME. Or whatever your poison is. I wanted the interviews to be a bit more informative. I don’t know that I’ve achieved that. I still have a real problem with Kerrang! at the moment, which anyone who has read a recent issue of this zine will know about. I’m criticising, but am I any different? I don’t know, probably not. It’s a year since I started this. In that time, I’ve put out 8 issues. I don’t know how long it takes people to read this thing, 20 mins. Maybe people don’t even read it, just glance at it. That’s fair enough. It may not look like it, but there’s a shitload of work goes into each issue. Yet it’s simple. The interviews get made up pretty much on the spot. I may spend 10 minutes before preparing some questions, but that’s it. Like the Far interview this issue. Then you find out you’re interviewing a different person to who the questions were tailored, and so you end up reverting back to your bog standard questions. The boring questions. It’s then just down to what happens at that moment in time. Then it’s spend a few hours listening back to everything, cramming to hear and hoping you don’t misquote or misunderstand, or misappropriate something as you type the thing up. The reviews well, once I’ve listened to an album or demo enough, they take maybe 20 minutes to do. Get tidied up after, but the general work is done. Gig reviews are similar. I work out what I want to try and get across, if anything, and then just type it. So, the component parts are easy. But the whole, it takes so much time. And that’s with a shite layout. I could sit back and try to do things differently. Try to change the elements that I think are wrong, but it’s so easy for me to do what I do, because it’s just what comes into my head. That’s not meant to sound arrogant, just that I do this the easiest way I know how. I always resort in the end to what comes naturally. So the idea of a radical re-think or change of the zine doesn’t really come into it, because I know me, and I know that I would soon just slip back into the mode that I use to produce this in the quickest time.
So, at the moment I don’t know if it will continue. Hopefully I’ll know more as I progress through this issue. I hope it does, and I guess ultimately at the moment, I think it will. Because I enjoy it, and I like it. Yeah, I know it doesn’t sound it from what I’ve just said. I love music, and writing about it is fun, even if I think I do it badly. This zine isn’t done, never has been, and never will be done for plaudits or kudos or whatever. It’s done for the love of it. That’s why up to now it’s been free. If it continues that may change as I can’t really afford to keep it going like this. It’s also why I’ve done it based on what I buy, as opposed to going looking for people to give me free shit. If people want to send stuff then I’ll gladly accept it. And don’t expect me to like it just because it was sent to me. This isn’t an exercise in what I can get. It’s about music, and about maybe telling a few people about some stuff that they’ve not heard of before and I think maybe they should. I hope the love of doing it prevails, because at the moment I guess I’m guilty of overestimating it’s importance. That means I think I have to do something better each time. Maybe I don’t. Maybe I just have to carry on doing it because I enjoy it, even if it’s not very good.
Last issue I wrote some stuff where I said life is about compromise. Maybe it’s time for me to take my own advice then. What’s the point of me writing this? To gain sympathy? Nah. I try to make this zine as honest as I can. This is just being honest on my view on things at the moment. What’s the point in saying this issue is at least being started with me in a great frame of mind about it? It doesn’t matter to you one way or the other. But it matters to me.
But just in case you don’t want all this shit, maybe I should just say, dude, life is just one great big phat suckle on the nectar of life. And for anyone who tells you other, they no down wit me and da bros in da mutha fuckin’ hood. doood. Don’t dis life. Life is peachy. Keep it Real. Have a nice day! Please drive through.
Hmm, not really me that.
